Artist. Domme. Pagan. Primal. Sin Eater. All words to define the magnetic and completely entrancing, Lady Lilith Scorpius. A woman who has fostered her craft with eloquence and certitude, Lilith has immersed herself in the inexplainable lightness of spirituality and has been celebrated for her ability to invoke some of the most sacred and enigmatic spaces for humans to connect amid magic and intimacy. The apprentice of Soma Snakeoil, a seasoned Domme and the founder of The Sidewalk Project, Lilith has harnessed this intimate sisterhood to embody all of her wild and unearth a faultless balance between sadism and sorcery.
What is your narrative? How did you become Lady Lilith Scorpius?
Honestly, I believe I was born kinky. I have been kinky forever. I actually got outed from the kink closet when I was 15 years old because I had to ditch a therapist who could not handle my problems. It was pretty lame, but in a way, I am kind of grateful because I had been sitting with it for a really long time. I lost friends over it and have received a fair amount of heat for it, but I am who I am and I have never backed down from that. In a way, I kind of earned it and that means a lot to me. By the time I turned 18 years old I had already been thinking about being involved more. I wanted to go to dungeons and play parties, everything. It took a while though.
It’s one thing to know what you are drawn to, but in a way, it’s hard to define yourself and sometimes, it can take other people to point out specific things in you to help you realize the direction you want to go in.
When I started, I was almost exclusively a bottom because I was working through trauma and a lot of it was adrenaline for me. I learned a lot about what it meant to be an ethical Dominant because I had so many unethical experiences with bad tops, but I never really had formal training. I had always been very assertive and aggressive, but it sort of came to a point where I realized when I first started my journey, it was always about adrenaline and sex, and then I sort of woke up one day and realized it wasn’t about sex and never had been. It’s about creating a space where I or someone else can take a moment and have something profound. So, it became a question of how I could be more capable of that. As someone who values intimacy and connection, this was very powerful and meaningful for me.
How did you dream up your lovely name?
I named myself halfway through my first year under Goddess Soma. I call myself “Lady” because I believe in earning one’s “Goddess” honorific—which I’m told I will receive through fear—initiation when Goddess decides I’m ready. Lilith is my actual name and it is my tribute to a goddess who knows how to harness change rather than be ruled by it. Scorpius was chosen because I share my kink family’s fondness for the Latin language. Plus, I am a Scorpio.
A witch is described as a healer, an herbalist, a magical practitioner or a “walker between the worlds”. What is your definition of a witch and what factors in your life have encouraged your curiosity and self-discovery in becoming a Pagan?
My definition for this has changed so much over the years, but I would say that a witch is someone who is intimately connected to all of the powers of earth, whether that is the elements, nature, the Gods or ancestors. It is someone who really walks forward in their own power and interacts with the powers of earth as they see fit, but are not the servant of anyone or anything. It is a pure relationship. I think to be a witch, you have to be extremely rooted in yourself because then you can understand what you’re hearing and from there, that is where you really start doing the work. The Old Norse used to call a Viking witch a Völva, which in English is a Seeress. It is a woman whose sole job in society is being a spiritual leader, holding sacred space and sort of weaving the strings of fate in this active way. Being Pagan to me is really about faith. You can do religion and witchcraft separately, but I don’t really know how to separate them because to me, they are the same, and that extends into BDSM as well.
Talk to me about your newfound Muttcraft group. How did you develop this idea and what does the group entail?
For one, I consider myself a mutt and I wear that title proudly. I am mostly interested in Celtic and Norse Paganism and within those circles, there is a lot of white supremacy and white nationalists. There is this thought that if you aren’t exclusively European, then you are LARPing (live action role playing) and you know, I have German and Irish in me, but I am also half Persian. So, I kind of want to make a point that this shit is irrelevant. I care a lot about history and am academically grounded, but I pull from so many things. I am interested in a lot. To me, a mutt is mixed with everything. I have two best friends who I do a lot of work with. One is Mexican and one is Guatemalan, but they are called by anything from the Orishas to the Greek gods and I think this is amazing. It doesn’t matter where you are from or where you were born. Magic is magic and if you have it, you have it. Like BDSM, the witch community can actually have a disproportionate representation of older people, which some younger folks find intimidating. I wanted to create a space for serious practitioners under 40, of any background, as long as it’s about the magic.
Not only are you a witch, but you are a gifted Dominant, which is a very unique combination. How do you balance these different sides of your unified persona? Do you integrate your witchcraft practices when you are topping?
They kind of struck me as inseparable. There is this Celtic concept of Awen, which is basically a state of flow that inspires all poets and it is thought of as this fire in the head. It’s both an inspirational force and a trance-like state and I kind of realized that this is what people doing BDSM are experiencing.
All of the things that people think happens in magic is what is actually happening in BDSM. What I do as a Dominant and what I do as a witch go hand-in-hand because both of them are about creating a sacred space.
It’s about holding those boundaries because in both magic and in kink, we see two different spaces—liminal and limonoid space. Liminal is this transitional state of movement where there’s just enough chaos where magic can happen and you are stepping outside of your regular world to something that is visibly different, where you can sort of be your whole self. But it still has boundaries and the point of it is that you go through some sort of ordeal or suffer somehow to get there, and honestly, that’s where things like high protocol come in, where the rules and discipline we have around BDSM come in.
There’s this decided difference between our regular mundane world and stepping into sacred space. That said, the aftercare in a scene is sort of like closing the circle in witchcraft. Then you have limonoid space, which is what happens when bottoms don’t receive aftercare, when there are no boundaries, no sacred space. It’s just reckless chaos. You see this is witchcraft too sometimes, like when people call on things they are not ready to feel. People essentially bite off too much and get overwhelmed. But it’s my belief that the mundane almost protects the sacred space in a way because you need to have something to contrast it with. The person experiencing the trance—the bottom or submissive—can get carried away and it’s my job to know where those boundaries are and to hold them. You can’t do magic when you are worried about that.
Let’s transition to your pursuit in becoming a Dominant. You are currently mastering your craft with Goddess Soma Snakeoil. Tell me about this experience. What has been the most pivotal lesson you have learned throughout this process?
I hadn’t been doing in-person sessions when we first met. I had been a lifestyle person who was sort of just Domming online. I was dating Master Feenix at the time and he was like, you really need to meet my ex. I was like, what the fuck are you talking about? Why would I want to meet your ex? He told me we would take over the world together. So, we met and I totally loved her, which I think was mutual. We started hanging out and talking about philosophies and things. She is a super dedicated Buddhist and I am really dedicated to my own practice so we just connected. Eventually, I super nervously asked if she would take me on as an apprentice. She was trained traditionally, sort of in the style of starting as a submissive and earning your way up. She finds that super beautiful, but never trained me that way. I think it’s partially because I had already gone through that in a way and I didn’t know how much of it I needed anymore.
A lot of my training has been about emotional regulation. I think people look at us and think, oh, it’s all kink all the time, and yeah, sometimes it’s stepping on dudes’ balls and sewing penises into vaginas, but it’s not that all the time. She has taught me a lot of physical skills, but it’s only when I am in the right emotional place for it. We both very much believe that whatever you do to someone else, we experience ourselves first. I learned needles by having her do them on me and I think that helps a lot with having a balanced perspective around it. The biggest thing for me is that she has this really unshakeable attitude of radical kindness. There’s this acceptance to it and it never changes. Part of me always thought female Dommes always had to be aggressive and kind of cunty in a way, but I see her and she doesn’t raise her voice and she doesn’t start trouble. She just listens.
As a Dominant, I am curious what qualities your ideal submissive bears? What kind of bottom drives your passion for topping and continuing to further your growth in the industry?
I love this question. I think about this all the time actually. To me, I love a submissive who has been to therapy. I really need that and I say this as someone who has been to therapy for years. I love a submissive who understands what they want from a Dominant because they don’t need them. This might sound mean, but I don’t want to be needed. I want to be wanted. So, when a submissive feels I enhance their life and they aren’t completely leaning on me for support, I am happy. I also need someone who is spiritual in a way because I find it doesn’t really work without it. All that aside, I have to say I do really love a good pain slut because like, damn.
If there was something you could change in regard to how people view female Dommes or sex workers as a whole, what would it be?
This is really important. Something that I really wish people would think about—especially male Dominants—is that we are not men. Female power does not come from mimicking them or emulating them. I am not going to show up and whip my dick out. The way I dominate is inherently feminine. I care a lot about being soft. I care a lot about being very nurturing, and I am not saying men can’t be those things, but I think people definitely look at women and think well, oh, if she’s not cracking a whip every five seconds she’s weak. I think the thing about BDSM is that is really calls out people’s inherent gifts and that is what makes our intuition so strong.
A man’s power comes from having this commanding, animated virility, and women are the source of magic, this intuitive well that we can’t quite explain.
Sexuality is diverse, deeply personal and an essential part of being human. How do you define your sexuality?
I really define myself as primal. To me, my sexuality has always been kind of wrapped up in blood and the kind of peace that comes from physical violence. Technically speaking, I am pansexual. I have always been attracted more so to personalities, but it’s more about energy for me. Anyone who can really hold space for themselves, those wild beings, those feral, untamed qualities in people. My sexuality is really about being a forest creature.
Dragon’s blood and oak moss
The Cell, directed by Tarsem Singh
Women Who Run with the Wolves by Clarissa Pinkola Estés
Favorite thing to do when no one is looking?
I like to pretend I am a burlesque performer in my bedroom.
Which room in the Hogwarts school would you most want to have sex in?
The Slytherin Common Room.
What is your definition of intimacy?
When you are not curating what you are sharing, not hiding.